Jorge is on the clock!!

So departure was set for Sunday morning, and well…lets just say it takes some creative thinking to get everything secured and strapped onto the motorcycle…departure time was more like 1:00 pm. The good news though is that not only did everything fit…I actually had a completely empty saddle bag!! (Just about the right size to fit a couple of bottles of vino from wine country in, if they stay empty that long!)

I think that the toughest part of the morning, and the last couple of weeks, however, has been the actual leaving. There have been ample times when I have caught myself thinking…WHAT THE #@$&* are you doing!! So it has given me great pause and time to reflect on if this was the journey for me to make. I have to admit that I have developed a beautiful relationship with fear these last couple of months, it seems that my fears lurk around every corner and everytime that I think that I have a handle on what is going on…there they pop back up and usually wallop me across the head. There are a million things that have run through my head and at least that many reasons to stay at home. But in my musings these last couple of days in particular one general thread kept rising above the overall din of the other thoughts. I could stay home and be safe in the environment that I know and love, or I can begin to explore again.

I think that it has been this last thought that has pushed me and given me new reservoirs of courage to tap into.  I believe that over the last 7 months I have been striving to survive and literally stand on my own two feet again, I have been getting comfortable back in my comfort zone and in my little safe box.  I recently have begun the process of dreaming again and seeing my life different from the course that I was charting a year ago.  So I figured, alright, time to leap again. 

So fear and trepidation strapped on Angel as well as the rest of the gear that I am bringing along I started off and headed to Jill and Fabian’s home in Lake Worth to see their son Max who had just turned one and celebrated his great accomplishment by jumping off the changing table and proceeding to break his leg.  Jill is starting therapy now and Fabian is now the responsible one…for any of you who them…you understand that this is one of the seven signs of the coming apocalypse. 

From there it was off to see Beth’s family in Jensen Beach.  Pictures are below, but the highlight of the stop was seeing my nephew Zach.  I definitely had mixed feelings arriving at the house and I know that there will be a thread on this later, as I sit with some of the thoughts and experiences that I have had.  While Zachary is nothing but a bundle of joy and love, I cannot help but to see Beth in him and miss her even more.  It is still very painful to touch that abscence and that feeling of wouldn’t it had been nice, however, in the meantime Zach is missing his uncle and I am stuck feeling guilty about not being more present…like I said more on this later…I got some stuff to get over.

Day 1 riding!

~ by coachcrew on June 16, 2008.