Red Rocks, CO

One of the first conversations that Beth and I had when we began talking again after our paths had crossed, was her trip to Colorado when one of her roomies, Megan, was out for a semester abroad and she raved about this outdoor amphitheater that was called Red Rocks.  In the months since her passing, I have gone through several of her journals and have even found a water color that she drew of the amphitheater. 

Last June, Beth came up with her brother Chris and her nephew Zachary, and she took them to Red Rocks as well.  For whatever reason, she just seemed to connect with the place and loved the location, atmosphere, and openess.  I am not sure if she ever heard a concert there, but as I first was coming into Denver, I saw the sign for Red Rocks and knew that it was somewhere I needed to spread a bit of her essence.

So Saturday afternoon, with the sun setting and the moon rising, I went over to the back of the amphitheater and there amongst the rocks and over look of the mountains, I scattered some of her in the hopes that she gets to hear many more concerts in a great venue. 

Everytime that I have scattered her ashes, I have in my own dillusion, tried to quiet myself and see if I can listen for her, or somehow connect with her.  Again I realize that I am making it all up, but it has become a bit of a ritual in this journey to just be still and listen to what may be out there.  I have seen manifestations, in nature, that whether coincidental or not, have lifted my spirits and hopes from what at times may be a painful and even morbid task.  Whether it comes as an animal that was unseen before, a ray of light that suddenly shines through an overcast day, or a rainbow that appears shortly after resuming on my journey, I like to think that, who knows maybe she can see everything that s happening. 

Well this time I had scattered her ashes, I sat and I listened, and well…there was nothing.  I started to chuckle at myself, and just kind of get how silly what I was expecting was, so I turned back to head into the amphitheater and sat in one of the rows towards the top of the stadium.

  Now I am placing this picture in this entry because on the lower left hand corner of the stage in the background, you should be able to make out a circle of people on the stage.  As I sat there in the seats of the amphitheater, I was listening to the, what could at best be described as a roucus.  There were guitars randomly strumming chords, drums beating various beats, and singers just throwing out their own melodies into the night sky.  Just as I was about to leave, the dischord, became melodic.  The guitars fell into leads and hormonics, the drums fell in time with the beat, and the singers began a beautiful rendition of the Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine, and as I sat there, I realized it was the concert I was supposed to hear.  This was one of Beth’s favorite songs, that while she could not even come close to distinguishable harmonies, she would sit up with her other roomy Patty in college and belt, or rather screach out the parts.  I do hope that she heard it, because as quickly as they had come together for a beautiful rendition of a song, once they were complete, it once again fell into complete musical disarray. 

(If you do not know the song, I added it to my juke box on the right so that you may enjoy as well.)

~ by coachcrew on July 15, 2008.